Journaling · Musings · Revelations · Self discovery

In a bad place

Hi friends, how have you been?

I have a question.

When someone doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved, is it still love to you?

There are so many love languages, and not everyone is fortunate enough to find someone who speaks the same love language as they do. When we are with someone who doesn’t speak the same love language, we sometimes forget that just because they do not love us the way we want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t. And sometimes, even if we are aware that they do love us, because of how they express their love, we are left still feeling unloved, for the simple reason that we feel love the way we understand love to be.

When we are feeling down, it is especially hard to be reminded that just because someone doesn’t love us the way we want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t. When we are in such a vulnerable state, we need to feel loved. At this state, we lose all sense of logic. We are incapable of knowing that we are loved. We are reduced to a ball of messed up emotions that no knowledge can help us. Only emotions can. To combat all these bad feelings that we have, we need good vibes. We need to feel them when we lack the mental state to know them.

This can happen to any one of us. No matter how strong we are, there will be times when we are not. Similarly, this can also happen to those who are dear to us. It is therefore important that we recognise this, and try to do the best we can to help ourselves and to help others.

I am not in the best state of mind now. I am extremely stressed out and tired with work. On top of that, I am feeling frustrated that since 2 Jan 2019, I have been unable to do all that I planned to do for all my 2019 goals. Thanks to work, I have been unable to workout, write or read as often as I would like to. I have been spending so much time and energy at work that what little time I have left, I am left with no energy or willpower. Instead, I have been making so many bad decisions, spending what little free time I have watching Netflix and snacking unhealthily. I hate that I am doing all these, yet it seems so difficult to snap out of it. By the end of every work day, I am so tired I cannot even fall asleep. So I just plop myself in front of the TV until it’s way past my bedtime, as a result of which I remain tired the next morning, which leads to me skipping the gym. To keep myself awake, I have been drinking too much coffee.

I don’t even know what is the purpose of me writing this. It’s definitely not in line with the theme of this blog. I guess I just needed a place to rant.

I hope your days have been much better than mine. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I’m sure there is an end to this long tunnel. Till then, I will survive.

Love,

Jess xoxo

6 thoughts on “In a bad place

  1. It’s hard to get out of a rut, especially when it has become part of your routine. Maybe try rewarding yourself: for instance, every night you go to bed on time, you put money away and eventually you can splurge on something nice!

    Exercise really does help. I hate the hours leading up to my gym session, but afterwards I feel like a brand-new person. If you’re not up for intense exercise, walking outdoors can work wonders, too.

    I totally agree with your point about love languages! My boyfriend and I have very different ways of expressing love. It causes tension between us, and what’s worse is that I have an anxious attachment style. We’re both working on it, but it’s hard when you’re vulnerable and want a specific show of affection.

    I hope you feel better soon! โค

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ela, thanks for dropping by! I have to agree that exercise really does help. I did my Morning Pages first thing in the morning, and went for a run right after. Both activities definitely helped make me feel a little better today. ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Like

  2. Aww Jess. I just barely followed u, but maybe for good reason!

    Maybe u can try sitting down, breathing calmy and imagining yourself doing all the things u want to do. Be at peace and relax, give yourself some time to be with urself and ur thoughts

    Maybe write down those important things u have to do and want to, and steps to complete them.

    Balancing work, school, blogging, partner + kids (if you have them) can be tough so its so important to have time for yourself.

    If watching netflix, not waking early, not reading or doing the things that make u happy and eating bad foods makes u feel bad, change it. You can do it!!

    I can see how not feeling loved by your significant other can hurt a lot. For me, messages always help. Write a love letter or text telling them ur honest feelings ๐Ÿ’• hope u can feel better ๐Ÿค—
    โ™ก Kiki

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kiki! I really appreciate you taking the time to drop me this comment. It really means a lot to know that there are kind souls out there like you who care enough to try to make othersโ€™ lives a little better. ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Iโ€™m sure itโ€™s just a phase Iโ€™m going through at the moment. As the saying goes, this too, shall pass.

      Thanks for dropping by! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

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