I used to think that it is sad to do anything alone in the public. To eat alone. To shop alone. To go to the movies alone. But over the years, I have gotten quite accustomed to doing things on my own. I am not sure what led to this, but now, I am comfortable dining on my own in public. In fact, I sometimes enjoy it. I get to savour what I am having without any interruption. I get to notice the people and environment around me. I get to have some quiet time without the need to make small talks. I get to do whatever the hell I want, whether it is to feed my phone first before myself, or to eat dessert first before my main meal (not that it is something that I do, because, you know, I am no a rebel).
I am now writing this in a cafe that I have never been to before. I told myself that since I get the day off from work today, I should do something different. Go somewhere different. Leave my comfort zone and explore the world a little. Of course, this ain’t no adventurous trip of sky diving or snowboarding. But those who know me know how conservative and “safe” I am. I am so contented in living in my comfort zone that I rather settle for boring than to risk getting lost.
But not today.
After weeks of stress at work, I decided to treat myself to something new today. I decided to do things a little differently today. The chores at home can wait. The pending tasks at work can wait. All the supposed-to-do’s can wait. Today, the focus is on me, my mental health and my well being.
So, for the first time in a very long time, I woke up without relying on an alarm. I decided that I am going to wake up when my body tells me to, not when I am supposed to.
I then got to writing my Morning Pages at about 8.00 a.m., followed by a run and some light weights at the gym.
After, I took my time in the shower, really paying attention to the whole ritual instead of just trying to get it over and done with in record speed. I then decided to dress up, put on some makeup, got into my car and drove to this quaint little cafe that I never knew existed. I ordered a latte, popped in my earphones, and got to writing this post.
I intend to continue writing after I am done with this post. Given my love for writing, I am thinking of exploring the life of a writer. Sure, I cannot quit my full time job for this because this is the real world we are living in, not an ideal one. Besides, how can I be sure that this is really what I want long term? It is too risky to give up financial security for something that I am so uncertain of.
But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t give this a try. The only way for me to know whether it will work or not is to actual go through the motion.
On most days, I do not have enough free time to spend on writing. Life happens, and having to spend so many hours at work means I have very little left off work. On most nights, my brain will be so exhausted that I simply cannot think of anything to write anymore.
So I am taking this December month as an opportunity for me to have a little bit more time to experiment on writing. I will be taking quite a number of days off work to clear my annual leaves, which means I will have plenty of opportunity to write. I only need to remember to focus on this one project and not get distracted by anything else that do not in any way contribute to this project.
Wish me luck in this journey I am undertaking, guys!